JONAH HEX
1 out of 5 stars

this had got to be the worst adaption to a DC comic hero i've ever seen... i wasn't really sure where they were going with it. were you going for a more graphic novel approach (otherwise not stylized enough) or straight-up balls-to-the-wall action (otherwise not enough action)? :/


if you want to know: jonah hex (played by a grossed out josh broslin) is a bounty hunter, who used to be a confederate soldier. he had turned on his comrades during the civil war, and killed his best friend AND son of general turnbull. so to exact revenge, turnbull (john malkovich in his most disappointing role) kills jonah's wife and son in a housefire, and makes jonah watch... to make matters worse, he brands jonah with a QT iron (QT stands for quentin turnbull). somehow-someway (this is the part that doesn't make sense), jonah dies? we never know the reason why, but he's resurrected by the native american indians who live around the corner from him. not really sure what compelled the indians to resurrect his spirit, but they do, and jonah basically comes back all hellbent on revenge! yee-haw!

do you want to learn more? well, jonah is then recruited by the union/president grant to stop ex-general turnbull from basically nuking the united states of america. duedate: independence day. how poetic... throw in megan fox as the sexy babe sidekick, and you get this literal trainwreck. (i say that b/c there's also a trainwreck in the movie) i can see where they were going with spirits and the idea of hell and learning how to talk to dead ppl and native american indians and their magical potions, but... the story just doesn't flesh itself out to allow us to understand what's going on with this character jonah. it's very choppy, the dialogue sucks, and biggest grip: WTH IS JOSH BROLIN SAYING?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND A SINGLE WORD YOU SAYIN'... i blame it on the prosthetic... :(

p.s. OMG i couldn't believe michael fassbender was in this! he's the only redeemable character BTW... :)