THE EXPENDABLES
3 out of 5 stars

this one is what i like to call a wet dream of action movie heros. why, you ask? because you’ve got sylvester stallone at the directing helm, jason statham + jet li + randy couture + terry crews as his mercenary dream team, “stonecold” steve austin as a badass merc, and cameos from BOTH bruce willis AND the governator! if that’s not a wet dream, what is?! :P



sylvester stallone is merc-for-hire barney ross, who accepts a job from mr. church (bruce willis) to assassinate the dictator general garza reigning on the island of villena. problem is that this is no walk in the park. the general has got help from a rogue FBI agent named james munroe and his own group of private mercs. the general’s army is highly skilled and highly armed, and it would take a crazy group of dudes to take on this island. well, barney and his boys are THAT crazy… plus, there’s also a woman involved in the picture! the general’s daughter wants barney and his boys to restore villena back to what it was before the greedy americans came to the island. pretty straight forward…


there’s a lot of stuff getting blown up, body parts flying everywhere, lots of violence, lots of gunfire, and lots of muscle. it almost seems like sylvester stallone called in every single favor he could think of including mickey rourke who looked like he just walked off the set of iron man 2 in full costume! (he really is a brilliant actor though…even in one scene…) stallone looks like he’s out of breath almost every scene, but jason statham does a good job as a badass knife enthusiast who can throw knives with such slick ease, it’s great to see him doing roles other than a car driving assassin. plotwise, ehh… action-wise, if you’ve got a penis, you’ll enjoy this the whole hour + 43 min. :P