THE TOURIST
2 out of 5 stars

a total disappointment and very misleading movie indeed... johnny depp just needs to stick with tim burton for as long as he can, and angelina needs to stick with kicking major ass or raise her kids in africa...or something. because both of them look really bored, which doesn’t help for an action/thriller movie... :/

the story is quite simple: elise ward (angelina jolie) comes out a luxurious hotel in paris, and immediately, the french police are keeping an eye on her. she knows they’re watching her every move, but casually sits at a cafe, orders a coffee + orange juice + croissant with butter, and waits for a mail courier to deliver a package to her. the courier delivers a package as expected, but this time, with a note! it’s a note from her ex-lover alexander pearce, and she follows his instructions in his letter: go to the lyons station, board the train to venice, find a guy with alexander’s build and height, AND make scotland yard BELIEVE that man is him. cue johnny depp on the train to venice, reading a spy novel and smoking an electronic ciggy! she finds frank tupelo, a math teacher from wisconsin, and allows herself to be seen with this guy. scotland yard’s chief inspector (paul bettany) follows the trail, and it leads to a luxurious hotel in venice, a royal ball, and a showdown at alexander pearce’s apartment in venice... sounds like a lot of pizazz, right? think again... :/

like i said, very very disappointed with this one... there’s no real chemistry or even a spark here. you would think two awesome actors would have fun with their roles, but there’s nothing here... i dunno if it’s the script, the plot, or all of the absurd? it was a good premise, where an elusive thief’s identity is unknown, and everyone’s trying to figure out who he is... HOWEVER, it doesn’t work when the plot is as predictable as the bad guy getting killed in a typical action flick and when the characters are as stale as day old bread... at least, the venetian hotel is really nice and purty? :/