BRIDESMAIDS
5 out of 5 stars

i saw this at the alamo drafthouse cinema during my vacay in austin, and this was probably one of the funniest movies i’ve seen in a WHILE. MY SIDES WERE HURTING. IT IS THAT FUNNY. IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT, GO SEE IT NOW. NOW. NOW. :P

LOL where to even begin? we have this woman named annie walker (kristen wiig- one of her best comedic roles), and her BFF from childhood is getting married. lillian (maya rudolph) is marrying some business guy named dougie, and she wants her bridesmaids to be “rich bitch” helen (rose byrne from damages), “butch maybe she’s a les but she ain’t” megan (melissa mccarthy AKA sookie from gilmore girls and also jenny mccarthy’s cousin), “MILF who wants to get it in badly” rita (deputy clementine johnson from reno 911), and “sweet and innocent newlywed” becca (erin from the office). such a motley crue, and with annie at the helm, things keep going haywired. best scenes: the shitty fitting, the flight to vegas (BEST SCENE!), annie’s meltdown at the bridal shower, the wilson philips wedding (of course), annie’s attempt(s) to get rhodes’ (her police officer love interest) attention, the “adult sleepover” with d-bag of all d-bags ted (cameo from john hamm). :P

really well scripted and really good improv scenes coming from kristen, maya, and melissa mccarthy. the characters are really well acted/developed, even sub characters like the creepy british brother and sister annie lives with for a while. (OMG the mexican worm! BAHAHAHA!) the story is pretty realistic too as annie loses her bakery in this nasty recesession, loses her BF with it, and is just downright miserable. hot police officer rhodes (chris o’dowd- irish hottie) sort of tries to motivate her into getting back into baking again, but... you’ll see. not your typical rom com because it’s crude, gross, and really vulgar at times. but you’ll end up LOVING every minute of it. thank you, judd apatow, for such an amazingly original movie... :D

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA:
THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER
3 out of 5 stars

FOR NARNIA!!! RAWR!!! :P

honestly, that pretty much sums up this movie… :P however, i should recap the plot/summary for those who haven’t read the books. although i have to say that they AKA disney changed the plot A LOT from what was originally written by c.s. lewis. I HATE IT WHEN THEY DO THAT!!! such a pet peeve, but overall the movie was produced well. (it is disney $, afterall…)

so, we pick up pretty much where we left off from the second movie. edmund and lucy are living with their aunt and uncle and whiny cousin eustace in england, while susan and peter are living in america, traveling with their parents due to the war. (this takes place around WWII) edmund and lucy aren’t exactly happy with their living situation esp. since their stupid and whiny cousin eustace doesn’t believe in narnia or anything fairytale-related. (he’s extremely cynical for a child, actually) but then…ALL OF A SUDDEN, the painting of the dawn treader traveling the seas comes to life, and the kids are all swept into narnia once again! there, they board the dawn treader, where they meet up with prince now KING caspian and reepicheep the fearless mouse warrior. caspian explains to them that they are on their way to get in touch with his father’s old allies, the seven lords. caspian’s evil uncle had once banished them, so to get things right, caspian must seek them out! but in order to do that, they (caspian&edmund&lucy&eustace) must defeat an evil green mist seeping from a place called dark island…

yes, disney sure did a nice job producing another great children’s adventure movie, but i wished the cheesiness would have been toned down a bit. plus, changing the plot to something completely different isn’t cool in my book. aren’t movies suppose to be adaptations of the books anyway? BAH! although i have to say, seeing aslan again made me smile and reepicheep’s wish to see aslan’s country in the end made me tear up a bit. makes you wonder if god really is a lion? a lion voiced by liam neeson? i sure hope so… ;)

p.s. FOR NARNIA!!! LONG LIVE KING CASPIAN!!! HE’S SOOOOO HOTT!!! :P

RABBIT HOLE
3 out of 5 stars

a very raw look at how a couple grieves for the loss of their son. this is nicole kidman’s first time as a producer AND an actress in this indie film about how we cope with grief and ultimately find a way to move on from such a profound tragedy... :)

becca (kidman) and howie (aaron eckhart) just lost their son danny eight months ago from a car accident involving a teenage boy who may have been driving too fast that fateful day. becca ends up as a stay-at-home mom, planting flowers and tending to her plants everyday, while howie goes to work. he urges becca to come to a group therapy session with him, but becca is really hostile and almost patronizing to the others in the group. (actually kind of funny b/c she makes fun of the “god freaks”) howie doesn’t understand why becca won’t see a therapist to help her deal with her grief, but she’s stubborn and starts to resent her husband. it doesn’t help her situation when her crazy/immature sister izzy tells her that she’s preggers, and that sort of sets her on edge b/c deep down inside, she doesn’t think izzy deserves to raise a child. her mother (a fab dianne wiest) wants becca to move on/seek help, but becca can’t stand her “advice” either esp. when her mother keeps comparing her crack addict bro’s death to her son’s. in the end, howie clings to the past, while becca tries to get rid of the memory of her dead son... as you can see, the two end up resenting each other and the acting is SUPERB esp. aaron eckhart. ;)

my first initial reaction to this movie was that it was going to be very grim and depressing and lots of yelling, but the story is actually really good and realistic too. becca and howie’s marriage in on the rocks due to a profound tragedy, and it takes a toll on their family and friends. nicole kidman is a real bitch to everyone and aaron eckhart shows true/raw emotion in his fight scenes with kidman. i think the most touching moment is when becca is packing up danny’s room with her mother. expect tears and lots of them during this one, but it’s got a good message towards the end: even if tragedy strikes, the best way is to go down the rabbit hole and see where it leads... :)

HEREAFTER
4 out of 5 stars

i actually ended up really liking this movie b/c of the way the characters and their respective storylines all converged together. clint eastwood shows us how great of a director he is by giving us another good/well developed movie… ;)

there are actually 3 main characters, so naturally 3 storylines. there’s george (matt damon), who is a psychic, who longs for a normal life despite having his “gift”, which he views as a curse. he used to do readings for people until one day he realized he didn’t want a life based upon death. so now, he’s a factory worker at a cane sugar factory in san fran, doing the whole 9 to 5 bit. then, there’s marie (this french actress i can’t remember her name now), who is a journalist/TV anchor in paris, who almost drowns and dies during the 2004 tsunami. she then decides to write a book on her near-death experience, but those around her are skeptical of her… and then, lastly, there are the twins, marcus and jason, who live in a shithole with their junkie mom, constantly trying to outwit social services. marcus and jason are about 10 years old, and one day when jason is out getting his mum some meds to kick her heroin addiction, he’s hit by a van. marcus grieves his twin bro’s death, and finally decides to seek out someone who can help him talk to his brother…

this was a great movie for those coping with a loss of a loved one because it gives us hope and an optimistic outlook on what’s in store for us in the afterlife. eventually, we all die, but what really happens to us when we do? this could have been really cheesy and totally cliché, but clint eastwood portrays death as a peaceful and weightless place. there’s no heaven or hell. it’s just…you. i thought the tsunami scene was really well done, and another wonderful/suspenseful scene was when marcus was in the london underground. (you’ll see what happens) i also like the fact that this movie asks the question of: are our loved ones that have passed really watching over us? i’ve always thought of this as true b/c my dad is now my guardian angel, but this movie actually reaffirms it. ;)

THE TOURIST
2 out of 5 stars

a total disappointment and very misleading movie indeed... johnny depp just needs to stick with tim burton for as long as he can, and angelina needs to stick with kicking major ass or raise her kids in africa...or something. because both of them look really bored, which doesn’t help for an action/thriller movie... :/

the story is quite simple: elise ward (angelina jolie) comes out a luxurious hotel in paris, and immediately, the french police are keeping an eye on her. she knows they’re watching her every move, but casually sits at a cafe, orders a coffee + orange juice + croissant with butter, and waits for a mail courier to deliver a package to her. the courier delivers a package as expected, but this time, with a note! it’s a note from her ex-lover alexander pearce, and she follows his instructions in his letter: go to the lyons station, board the train to venice, find a guy with alexander’s build and height, AND make scotland yard BELIEVE that man is him. cue johnny depp on the train to venice, reading a spy novel and smoking an electronic ciggy! she finds frank tupelo, a math teacher from wisconsin, and allows herself to be seen with this guy. scotland yard’s chief inspector (paul bettany) follows the trail, and it leads to a luxurious hotel in venice, a royal ball, and a showdown at alexander pearce’s apartment in venice... sounds like a lot of pizazz, right? think again... :/

like i said, very very disappointed with this one... there’s no real chemistry or even a spark here. you would think two awesome actors would have fun with their roles, but there’s nothing here... i dunno if it’s the script, the plot, or all of the absurd? it was a good premise, where an elusive thief’s identity is unknown, and everyone’s trying to figure out who he is... HOWEVER, it doesn’t work when the plot is as predictable as the bad guy getting killed in a typical action flick and when the characters are as stale as day old bread... at least, the venetian hotel is really nice and purty? :/

I LOVE YOU PHILLIP MORRIS
4 out of 5 stars

i can’t believe this was based on a true story! stephen russell really existed! who was he, you ask? he was a gay cop turned con artist who broke out of prison like 4X to be with his gay lover, whom he met in prison... WOW, that’s a mouthful! :P

like i said, based on the true story of one stephen russell (jim carey doing a great job as a character actor), a once law abiding cop living as a hetero christian with a wife and a daughter. he decides to seek out his real mother, but when she rejects him, he decides to move his family to texas. because deep in the heart of TX, everyone is accepted, right? hehe... anyway, one rainy night, he gets into a horrible car accident, then the gay “switch” kicks in... he decides he’s going to come clean and be gay and happy! he decides to move again to miami, FL, where he meets and lives with his BF jimmy (a gay rodrigo santoro), and then he soon begins to concoct these insurance scams to pay off the bills of his newfound expensive lifestyle. this lands stephen in jail, and one day, during a fight in the prison cafeteria, he spots beautiful and blond phillip morris standing there. thus, love at first sight... ;)

it’s a cute and unconventional love story about a guy who falls for an innocent and idealistic man, but stephen russell is a real slick jerk, who doesn’t want to spend a day in jail for his wrongdoings. he’s clever, very charming, and extremely slick! (LOL, the scenes where he concocts ways to break free from prison are priceless...esp. the last one!) jim carey does a great job as the con artist stephen, and ewan mcgregor is also great as innocent phillip. this is one movie that plays with your emotions, but ain’t that why love is sometimes a real bitch? overall, a great story about the one man who couldn’t stay in jail, and it’s great to see jim carey back to his ol’ tricks doing an array of characters again. LOVED it... ;)

BLACK SWAN
5 out of 5 stars

i don’t think this was darren aronofsky’s best (my fave is still the fountain), but it is quite compelling and quite disturbing... LOVED this movie, and LOVED natalie portman as a crazy ballerina! ;)

it’s pretty obvious what the plot is by now... natalie portman plays ballerina nina sayers, whose desperate for a lead role, and her prayers are answered when her company decides to force-retire the current lead, beth mcintire. (winona ryder) thomas leroy (a fabulous vincent cassel), the artistic director of the company, picks nina to play the swan queen role in tschaikovsky’s swan lake, and nina is ecastic! the only problem is that the role of the swan queen requires the innocence and purity of the white swan and the sexual and lustfulness of the black swan. nina struggles with the black swan part, even though thomas seduces her and encourages her to explore her sexuality to develop better interpretation. (unclear if he was really trying to have sex with her or not?) to add to the mix, nina begins to think that a new ballerina named lily (mila kunis) from san francisco is stalking her and ultimately after her role... well, is she or is this just a part of nina going mad? maybe you should watch and find out? ;)

the lines blurring between reality and nina’s delusions makes this movie worthwhile. the whole movie centers around nina slowly losing it with her skin rashes and weird dreams, and the ultimate climax where the “black swan” takes over her mind and body is brilliantly done. obviously, the dancing is beautiful, the dancers are beautiful, and aronofsky’s gritty portrayal of nina’s paranoia is even beautiful. portman lost 20 lbs. for the role of nina, and body double or not, ballet dancing was only half this movie. the anxieties and the brilliant portrayal of a person slowly losing it is why she got that oscar gold... ;)

HANNA
3 out of 5 stars

this was like the bourne identity for teens. well, except for the whole amnesia bit, hanna is just like jason bourne. she’s designed to kill, doesn’t have any parents (well, one), and has a mean govt lady chasing after her... (cate blanchett is meaner than joan allen, methinks!)

so, hanna is basically about a 16 year old girl (saoirse ronan from atonement), who lives with her “father” erik (eric bana) in the middle of nowhere. she lives deep in the wintery woods of finland, knows how to hunt well, has great strength/fighting skills, and is also cut off from all known technology...even electricity. she’s forced to memorize a fake back story stating that she’s from leipzig, germany, and her father soon abandons her because there’s a switch which tells the CIA the coordinates of their location, thus letting marissa weigler (cate blanchett as a southern redhead) know where they are. turns out marissa killed hanna’s mother when she was just a baby, and erik saved her from the same fate, and you learn why hanna is so strong, so fearless, and so different from your average 16 year old girl. sure, genetic engineering makes up who you are on the physical level, but you wonder if someone is isolated and trained to be an assassin, won’t they grow up to be just that? ahh, the question of nature vs. nuture is what this one is all about... ;)

saoirse ronan sure has grown up from her days as the little girl from atonement, and she sure knows how to kick ass when necessary! she looks young and vulnerable, but she can break necks and escape out of a CIA detention facility as if it was some amusement park... cate blanchett sure knows how to play a great villain, but i felt like this story could have used some more finesse. there are a lot of loose-ends that could have tied together better such as why the program was shut down and what was the true purpose of the program. maybe even more flashbacks of erik and marissa too? joe wright (the director of atonement) does a pretty good job with the action/thriller genre, but i expected better... when a director who can tell a good story well is at the helm, should we expect that? maybe we’ll just stick with the bourne identity movies next time... :/