THE FIGHTER
5 out of 5 stars

WOW!!! this was the christian bale show, and i am just MIND-BLOWN by how much great acting this movie has!!! BRAVO, CHRISTIAN BALE!!! BRAVO!!! :) :) :)

based on a true story, david o. russell (director of three kings and i heart huckabees) gives us the candid and raw portrayal of a boxer named “irish” micky ward (mark wahlberg) and his crazy muthafucker junkie of a big bro dicky ecklund. (2010 oscar winner christian bale) the movie takes place in early 1990s/late 80s massachussetts in a town called lowell (40 min. outside of boston accord. to google maps), and dicky and micky are considered town heroes. their family is HUGE...consisting of 9 (holy cow!) children, and dicky is micky’s trainer and alice is his manager. alice ward is a CRAZY lady, and oscar winner melissa leo plays her sooooo naturally esp. in scenes when she’s trying to be a mother to micky, instead of the manager role. micky is down on his luck with a losing streak until he decides to change things up and get “rid” of his brother and mother. he’s torn between them and his GF charlene (boston-accented amy adams) and his father, who convince him to train with a real trainer since dicky is constantly MIA (well, smokin’ that crack pipe). well, one day his wish comes true when dicky is busted for assaulting a bunch of cops/resisting arrest and lands his crack-addicted ass in jail... the rest of the movie is very rocky-esque, so you get my drift... ;)

like i said, this quickly becomes the christian bale show becuz he dominates as a gifted actor. there isn’t one moment that makes you doubt the character, and it’s AMAZING how he lost all that weight to play the skeletal dick ecklund. that’s what makes him so great b/c he’s so dedicated to his craft! it’s amazing... plus, that accent! the man is welsh for christ’s sake, so for him to do a great american accent PLUS a dialect?! that’s skillz... i really don’t think this movie wouldn’t have gotten very far b/c w/o those two, this is just another boxer movie. they truly make this one worthwhile, and i’m glad they both got the oscar gold they deserve. like they say in boxing, KO (knockout) performances for sure... :)

YOGI BEAR
1 out of 5 stars

yogi: “kick it, boo boo!”
boo boo: “kicking it, yogi.”

do kids today even know who yogi bear is? do kids today even care? why hollywood decided to redo the children’s classic is beyond me! did y’all run out of creativity juice? ;/

we all know the story of yogi (dan ackryoyd) and boo boo (justin timberlake), two cuddly bears always scheming up ways to steal ppl’s pic-a-nic baskets and living happily in jellystone park. ranger smith (tom cavanagh) and ranger jones (t.j. miller) take care of yogi’s shenanigans as well as take care of the park itself. one day, rachel AKA miss movie lady (anna faris) comes to jellystone park to film yogi and boo boo in action, but the devious and corrupt mayor brown (andrew daly) has other plans for jellystone. he was to sell the park land and give logging rights to the logging companies, so that he can balance the city budget... (to close the gap of the deficit he caused in the first place) so, jellystone park is in trouble, and what’s yogi and boo boo to do? well, bring ppl to the park by showing off yogi’s water-skiing skillz! ;)

it’s one of my pet peeves when a movie that’s animated featured real live characters because the whole thing could have been animated. i think they did it to make it “interesting” but this movie is really cheesy...even for a kid’s movie! what happened to class and creativity and a certain finesse? it’s a grand shame that such a great cartoon classic is reduced down to a anorexic storyline with recycled lame jokes. at least, boo boo is cute? :/

THE NEXT THREE DAYS
2 out of 5 stars

i didn’t think this one was that great because hollywood totally marketed this movie as a thriller/mystery, but it ends up being about this guy planning a prison break. i’m sorry, but if i wanted to watch a movie about a prison break, i’d watch the show... SMH... such a waste... :(

this is the story of a college professor named john brennan (russell crowe) who decides that he’s going to break his wife lara (elizabeth banks) out of jail after his wife is sentenced to prison for life for killing her boss. what, you say? that’s right... she gets thrown in jail for killing her boss with a fire extinguisher, and the horror of it is that she gets sentenced and put away for life because the evidence against her was too substantial. (i.e. her co-worker witnessing the fight between her and the boss, the fire extinguisher with her fingerprints on it) john and his son are left with no $ because they spent it all on lara’s pricey defense, and it’s actually heartbreaking to see john and lara cry when they realize they’re not going to be getting an appeal any time soon... so, what’s a husband to do? he plans her prison break meticulously from procuring fake IDs from some deaf guy on a motorcycle, doing field research by interviewing a known convict who successfully broke out of prison (liam neeson in his worst role), and even getting drug money to fuel his “project” by killing a known meth dealer and stealing his stash. so, the question becomes: does john successfully break out his wife? i’m gonna be a good girl, and not tell... ;)

there’s a lot of things wrong with this movie i.e. confusing storyline and russell crowe looks bored... maybe he should stick with period movies then in particular roman times?  being that this one was WRITTEN AND DIRECTED by paul haggis (the guy who made the oscar winning movie crash), this was a total disappointment. like i said, it focuses on too much on the planning of the break out when what you really want is a good thriller! a good thriller that should have focused on the mystery behind john’s wife and the crime she “committed”. THAT would have been an interesting movie, although it’s been done before, but i feel like paul haggis could have taken that genre on well. oh, well... :/

FAIR GAME
4 out of 5 stars

“the responsibility of a country is not in the hands of a privileged few. we are strong, and we are free from tyranny as long as each one of us remembers his or her duty as a citizen. whether it's to report a pothole at the top of your street or lies in a state of the union address, speak out! ask those questions. demand that truth. democracy is not a free ride, man. I'm here to tell you. but, this is where we live. And if we do our job, this is where our children will live. god bless america.”
– joe wilson

what an INTERESTING and well-produced movie about the scandal that rocked the bush administration! sean penn and naomi watts team up again but this time...as former ambassador joe wilson and CIA agent valerie plame. :)

based on true events, CIA agent valerie plame (watts) is essentially betrayed by the u.s. government when lewis “scooter” libby (david andrews from JAG) and f-ing karl rove (ugh...hate that guy!) when her husband writes an op-end piece in the NYT re: the lies behind president bush’s state of the union address. what happens is that valerie recommends her husband as the person to seek out whether yellowcake uranium was sold by niger to sadam’s people as this could potentially be a problem if this transaction did take place. (think nuclear bombs) well, joe wilson (penn) goes on his mission, and reports back that no such transaction happened. joe wilson is an expert when it comes to africa and african relations and pretty much all things africa being that he was the director of african relations during clinton’s presidency. the white house doesn’t like that answer, and libby comes to the CIA to cherry-pick data, so it may look like iraq is building a nuclear weapons problem, thus proving that WMDs do exist in iraq. (which they don’t)

so, basically, one person demands the truth from the govt, and their spouse pays the price. their spouse, whose a covert agent for that same govt... it’s all really screwed up, and i am baffled that the u.s. govt did such a thing... SMH and WTF all come to mind, and it’s a damn shame an innocent person’s career got shattered all in the name of covering up the bush adminstration’s lies... it’s a GREAT story and everyone should def see it so you too know valerie’s story! ;)

MORNING GLORY
3 out of 5 stars

rachel mcadams is sooooo adorable in this! she’s young, eager to please, and enthusiastic in this movie about early morning show production. :)

becky fuller (mcadams) is a young and energetic TV producer working for a NJ TV channel, but then she’s laid off due to budgetary problems for the station. so, she searches for a job, and finds a rare executive producer position at a early morning TV show called daybreak. only problem with this dream job is that it comes with a few strings attached... in the form of beauty queen turned TV host colleen (a hilarious diane keaton) and a cantankerous and pretentious co-host mike pomeroy, who thinks morning television is beneath him. (harrison ford doing his best walter kronkite impression) mike causes problems on the show because he refuses to report on anything besides the traditional news, and becky tries hard to break his shell. mike is a handful, but becky has bigger problems at hand... if daybreak doesn’t get high enough ratings, the network with cancel the show. and...since becky can’t afford to lose another job, what else is a girl to do? SENSATIONALISM!!! like...YOUTUBE WORTHY SENSATIONALISM! :P

harrison ford and diane keaton are hilarious as co-hosts that hate each other, and becky’s relationship with patrick wilson’s character is really cute... (it’s a rom com, so she falls in love w/ the all-too-perfect guy) it’s also a good movie that shows a workaholic individual loosen up after all works out in her favor. YAY for happy endings! YAY for stuff that works out in the end! sometimes, you just need that in a world where reality can be a really cruel bitch... ;)

PIRANHA
2 out of 5 stars

“they took my penis...” – derek ross (played by jerry o’connell)

WOW... well, i was expecting boobies and killer fish, and it looks like i got JUST THAT. :P

besides the boobs and the flesh-eating fish, there is an actual "story" here... it starts out with richard dreyfuss randomly fishing out at a lake, when a small earthquake hits. the earthquake opens up a deep underwater lair, which the piranha escape from, looking for their next victim(s). they obviously eat poor richard dreyfuss, and move towards where the spring break partying is happening on lake victoria. it’s spring break, so college kids are drinking, having sex, dancing, and having wet tee-shirt contests all the while a school of hungry piranha circles around them. the sheriff of lake victoria (elizabeth shue) tries hard to warn all these drunk kids that the waters are dangerous, but no one listens. even when hardass ving rhames is talking to them! (no respect!) it wouldn’t be a horror movie without teenagers, so naturally, the sheriff’s son is a teen, along with his wannabe GF kelly. (vanessa from gossip girl!) oh yeah, lest not we forget jerry o’connell’s character derek ross, who is filming footage for his girls gone wild-esque videos during SB... 

highly entertaining! it’s a horror comedy and it’s totally campy, stupid, and just fun when the piranha have no mercy and eat a girl’s ass first THEN the legs... i guess you gotta start with where the meat is first? very much like snakes on a plane, where scientifically this makes no sense but explores the whole what-if scenario.  too bad there's no SLJ angrily stating,"i am sick of these muthafucking fish in this muthafucking lake!" :P  oh, i love how christopher lloyd plays the scientist type AKA the marine biologist and town fish expert, but he cray cray like he is in all his movies. weird that elizabeth shue was the sheriff NOT ving rhames, but gotta hand it to a man who can kill piranha with a boat rotor, sheriff or not! chew on that, muthafuckers! :P

127 HOURS
4 out of 5 stars

watched another oscar contender, and i have to say this was the most intense movie i’ve seen in a while! it’s amazing when one is faced with a “live or die” sitch, that one will do whatever it takes to get out of it... including cutting off an arm! :/

the movie starts out with a guy named aron ralston, who LOVES to rock climb the canyons of utah. he drives out to the middle of nowhere, and begins mountain biking, hiking, the works. he’s charming and outgoing, and we see that when he meets these two girls, whom he shows a secret lagoon of water underneath a deep canyon. they’re swimming and having fun, and soon they part ways... suddenly, aron is trying to climb down as per usual when a big boulder snaps off, lodging itself next to his right arm. his arm is basically a lost cause because the boulder is way too big for him to move it...at least, by himself. he’s trapped, is low on food and water, and doesn’t know if anyone can find him since he’s so deep into the canyon. he starts to videotape his “experience” and the end result...

beautifully done and def has the danny boyle color touch! (a la millions, one of my faves) the natural beauties of the canyons are well shot/captured, and you can almost see some surreal effects going on as well. (reminding me of georgia o’keeffe’s artistic style, sorta?) aron’s hallucinations are vivid, and you can’t really tell if what’s reality and what’s not. one would be in that state after no food and water for 5 days, i suppose? james franco does give a great performance, which earned him an oscar nod...no kidding on that part. i mean, the guy ends up eating his contact lenses and drinking his own pee from a camel bag... if that doesn’t earn you an oscar nod, i dunno what does... ;)

UNSTOPPABLE
3 out of 5 stars

it doesn’t seem like much of a movie esp. since the entire premise of this one is about a runaway train. it seems kind of boring, but it sure is a nail biting adventure...even 15 min. into it! :O

the plot is actually based on a true story of a runaway train that went bonkers in rural ohio. this time, tony scott directs this action flick in the great city of stanton, pennsylvania. (PA railroad country) denzel washington is a veteran railroad engineer, paired up with rookie train conductor chris pine. denzel’s character is on the verge of retiring from the rails, and chris’s character is just starting out. at first, they don’t like each other much, but end up learning about each other and try and figure out how to stop this train before it destroys their beloved town of stanton. acting at the middle (wo)man between the corporate hotshots who think the train will stop by itself and these two dudes is connie the yardmaster at fuller yard. (rosario dawson) she communicates directly with the guys, and together, they are on a mission to stopping this train!

yeah, yeah, it doesn’t seem like quite a big deal, but try saying that when a huge train runs through your town destroying everything in its path... plus, the idea of the train carrying crazy/hazardous chemicals is a WHOLE ‘nutha matter... it’s basically a missile on its collision course! the ending was a bit disappointing, but everything building up to it was good ol’ fashion tony scott and very well directed... good job all around, and you know when you need a hero, chris pine and denzel are def qualified to get the job done! ;)

DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS
3 out of 5 stars

IDK... as messed up as a dinner for idiots sounds, i would love to attend one just to experience the oddities and quarks of said people. food AND entertainment...that’s what i call a gooood night! :P

it’s sort of strange that paul rudd and steve carell would be paired up in one movie, but i didn’t think it was thaaat bad. paul rudd plays business-driven tim conrad, who works at a private equity fund, and wants to get a promotion up to that upstairs corner office, so he could finally afford all the nice things he ever wanted PLUS he wants to marry his dreamgirl julie. after proposing an awesome business proposal to his boss, mr. fender invites him to a special dinner at his house. a dinner for idiots. he asks tim to bring the biggest buffoon he could possibly find, and if his guest is the best, he can get that promotion. there’s just one problem... where to find such a rare person? well... he ends up running over this guy named barry (carell), who got hit because he was leaning over to pick up a dead mouse. turns out barry’s hobby is mouse taxidermy, and he creates these elaborate and creative dioramas featuring his furry little friends. (i tell ya, the dioramas alone MAKE this movie) so, naturally, tim invites barry to the dinner, but not before barry causes some disruption in tim’s “perfect” life first... :P

OMG the actual dinner is quite amazingly funny esp. when the animal spirit guide lady starts to wig out when they’re served lobster. barry’s tower of dreams is pretty amazing too, but the blind fencing dude and zack galifianakis as barry’s rival therman made me LOL real hard! (honestly, the character therman deserves his own movie and so does animal spirit guide lady!) like i said, the mice dioramas are actually really well done and fit into the story nicely esp. the ending. LOL, lest not forget kieran vollard the crazy british artist who is a little bit too involved with his animalistic side! i thought it could have been funnier esp. with the swiss couple and possibly a funnier lead. not that i have anything against paul rudd- but was mike myers not available? i just expect really funny shit from the director who made austin powers come to life, that’s all... :P

WIN WIN
4 out of 5 stars

if you’re into realistic comedies w/o any cheese, phoniness, or dumbassery, this one might be for you... paul giamatti and amy ryan FTW! ;)

from the looks of it, it may be a high school wrestling movie, but it’s actually a LOT more. financially tight from a slow economy, disheartened attorney, mike flaherty (giamatti) decides to take on the guardianship of one mr. leo poplar, a senior citizen neighbor whose got the early stages of dementia. he does this to eat the monthly commission, and sticks rich mr. poplar in a really nice old folks nursing home. then, one day after church, mr. poplar’s teenage grandson kyle randomly comes to stay with him. mike finds him on the doorsteps of mr. poplar’s home, and he reluctantly takes him in. mike happens to moonlight as a HS wrestling coach, along with his friend and CPA vic (jeffrey tambor from arrested development), and pretty soon, it turns out that kyle was a wrestling champion at his old HS back in ohio! things are going great for everybody until kyle’s ex-junkie mother shows up in town demanding $ and kyle back...

the friendship between mike and his friend terry (bobby cannavale) is PRICELESS and HILARIOUS... (the scene when mike is having a panic attack while on a run with terry...haha!) great dynamic and even the relationship between mike and his kids/wife/kyle, they’re all heartfelt and genuine. i call it a realistic comedy because it keeps the story real so don’t except happy endings that just work out for the sake of working out. really well done, and i can understand why sundance liked it too... ;)

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
4 out of 5 stars
 
ok, so i’m a girl and naturally i would like this! plus, i was in that mood craving a “light and fluffy” flick about dating and love, so i ended up with this in my mailbox… ;)
 
most rom coms have predictable plots, but this one was a bit different… let’s start with the married couples: 1) jennifer anniston and ben affleck who break up b/c jenny a’s character really wants to make it official and get married but ben doesn’t because he feels it’s worthless to have a piece of paper state the fact that he loves her nomatterwhat… 2) jennifer connelly and bradley cooper’s cheating ass w/ scarjo (scarlett johansson) the singles: 1) gigi (ginnifer goodwin) who is looking for mr. right by reading into all the wrong signals 2) justin long as the helpful guy pal for gigi- you can guess who he falls in love with! 3) kevin connelly as the hopeless-in-love real estate guy who’s also in love with scarjo 4) drew barrymore whose role is pretty random but that singing VM is probably THE best scene in this movie! movie takes place in bmore, and the relationships between all these people blossom like may flowers after a rainy april day… 

girls who have no sense of dating whatsoever would like this and probably should watch this! but for girls who do, it is FRUSTRATING to watch gigi put herself out there for rejection over and over again… plus, she’s kind of psycho and stalks the men she’s interested in! most realistic couple is jennifer anniston and ben affleck because a lot of couples deal with the notion of whether they need to make their marriage official or not. isn’t loving that person enough? i guess not for some people… there’s one thing this movie teaches you, and it’s if a guy is truly interested, HE WILL CALL YOU. kthanxbye. :P
 

RED
3 out of 5 stars

umm… had mixed feelings about this one because i thought the premise of old/retired CIA agents taking on their lifelong employer would be fun/comical and would have me rooting for the underdogs. not so much, which was disappointing… was it the lack of good acting? (ahem, a boring bruce willis) or perhaps lack of a really good script? (confusing at times) plus, would this tech. be a romantic action? still sooooo confused to where this was going… :/



there are already two movies sim. to the plot of this one, where a govt agency is trying to eliminate old assets. (e.g. A-TEAM and the losers) well, you’re in luck because this is pretty much the same thing. bruce willis plays frank moses AKA ex-CIA black ops operative who is now retired and living on his pension in a quiet suburb of cleveland, OH. he’s bored, has no family, has no romance, so he chats up an equally lonely soul over the phone, who happens to be his pension benefits rep. (mary louise parker) then, all of a sudden (not really), frank is visited by a special ops execution squad who want him dead. they also want MLP dead too, so frank flies to st. louis to then take her to new orleans, where joe (morgan freeman) can help him figure out who is behind the hit(s). this then leads to crazy marvin (john malkovich), who probably has the craziest living situation on the face of this planet. (you’ll see what i mean...  LOL that pig is so awesome!) throw in, helen mirren’s character victoria (a great sniper and with such class!) and brian cox playing an ex-russian spy, and pretty much you’ve got this movie! :P


oh, and then there’s a conspiracy involving the VPOTUS, but you can figure that out for yourselves… best characters were probably veteran actors helen mirren and john malkovich (he’s always playing some wacked out character), but ACTINGFAIL on bruce willis. (why is he so boring?) then, there’s the whole romantic angle between MLP and bruce willis, which is fine in an action flick, but does it really have to be the center of it? i think i would have felt better if this was more of the old guys taking down the “company” for their own reasons, comical or not. (e.g. not getting their full benefits thus preventing them from having an enjoyable retirement) see… i can see john malkovich going bat-shit crazy over something like that! :P

DEVIL
4 out of 5 stars

very well done! it’s creepy… it’s suspenseful… it’s also thrilling! LOVED this one! ;)



the movie starts out with someone falling to their death off of a really tall office building. this prompts the philly PD to investigate into such a bizarre suicide, since the victim died with a rosary in their hands and a note stating that “the devil is near”. det. bowden (chris messina) is assigned to the case, and he arrives just in time when five ordinary people get stuck in an elevator. the five people are: a mattress salesman, a mechanic, a wife, an old lady, and a security guard. suddenly, odd things start to happen in the elevator, and everyone starts to freak out. there’s a hispanic security guard looking at the security camera inside the elevator, and thinks that one of them is the devil. (he’s uber-religious and believes that an old mexican folklore story his mother told him when he was young is coming true…) so, which one is it? (i have to leave the plot summary as is since i don’t want to give away any of the awesome plot twists!)


if you’re looking for a creepy thriller that’s quasi-religious, THIS ONE IS FOR YOU. this one is perfect to watch with the lights out, popcorn freshly popped, and on a dark/stormy night… get the mood right, and you’ll be officially creeped out…in your home AND perhaps on an elevator someday. oh! forgot to mention that master ghost storyteller m. night shamalan wrote the story to this movie AND helped produce it. it just goes to show that when he sticks with what he knows, the end product is AMAZINGLY GOOD. (such as this)

GROWN UPS
2 out of 5 stars

wow, with a cast of the funniest dudes in the movie biz, this one sure tanked... this one ended up turning into the roast of rob schneider and not a good plot at all! you’ve got adam sandler, chris rock, kevin james, david spade AND rob schneider! this was an epic fail, SMH... :/


basically, these five dudes are reunited after their beloved youth center basketball coach dies, and they go to their old lake house to mourn/celebrate his life over the 4th of july weekend. lenny (sandler) is a big time hollywood agent living the LA dream with his fashion designer hotty wife roxanne (salma hayek), eric (james) is a lawn mower sales guy, kurt (rock) is a home daddy, marcus (spade) is mr. single, and rob (schneider) is a new age medicine man. the fab five instantly pick up from where they left off 30 years ago, and it just doesn’t quite tickle the funny bone, despite all these COMMEDIANS in one movie! (seriously! comeon, bring out the days of happy gilmore or billy madison, PLEASE!?!)

i think the only funny person in this was kevin james, and possibly chris rock when he’s making fun of this mother-in-law. the mother-in-law’s fart scenes stole some of the show, but like i said, this easily turned into the roast of rob schneider because half the jokes in this were directed towards him. there was one good scene where he’s singing “ave maria” at the coach’s funeral which got a good laugh out of me, but don’t waste your time on the whole thing like i did... :/

DUE DATE
4 out of 5 stars

ethan: “you should name your kid after sonny.”

peter: “i am not naming my first child after a masturbating dog.”

LOL zack galifianakis really steals the show as actor-wannabe ethan tremblay! if i were to road trip with anyone, it would be him! :P

it doesn’t sound like much of a story but how high strung and father-to-be peter highman (robert downey jr.) and actor-wannabe ethan tremblay (zack galifianakis) end up on the road together is “interesting”... essentially, peter and ethan end up on the TSA no-fly list due to ethan’s usage of the words “bomb” and “terrorists” in front of an air marshal, and of course, with peter’s $ lost @ the ATL baggage claim, ethan asks peter to join him on the road with his crazy self and his pitbull sonny. thus, the adventure begins! peter just wants to get to LA in time for his wife’s delivery, but ethan literally keeps derailing them...such as buying his medical MJ from a dealer in birmingham (juliette lewis), asking peter to make a pit stop at the grand canyon to spread his father’s ashes, and of course, getting into a fender bender in TX. LOL, it wouldn’t be a todd phillips movie w/o an impromptu trip to mexico, of course! so, fasten your seatbelts and get ready for one wild ride... ;)

i think HANDS DOWN (no pun intended) the 2 best scenes are when ethan is masturbating in the car along with sonny and when darryl (jamie foxx) accidentally puts ethan’s dad into the coffee machine. (“this tastes like cat litter” LOL!) those two scenes i literally rewinded because they were so funny... this doesn’t beat the hangover or old school, but it is pretty good. it’s been a while since RDJr. has been in a comedy, and with zack g. by his side, this one doesn’t disappoint! :)