MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND
5 out of 5 stars

sp'am the warhog: "we see you got boom-boom sticks. bye, bye!" (referring to long john silver's gun)


LOL who doesn't like the muppets? esp. when it's a high-seas adventure with kermit the frog as capt. smollet, miss piggy as benjamina gunn, and tim curry as long john silver! :)

it's the classic tale of treasure island by robert louis stevenson w/ the muppet twist! jim hawkins "inherits" a treasure map from a pirate @ a tavern he works at, and he + gonzo + rizzo decide to seek it out! enter fozzie bear as the dumb, half-wit son of trelawney & sons to finance the trip to the caribbean, capt. kermit, and a bunch of random muppets starring as the crew! tim curry stars as long john silver, who secretly boards the ship disguised as the ship's cook, and causes all sorts of havoc trying to steal the treasure map from jim and the good guys. BEST scenes: benjamina AKA miss piggy as boom-shakalaka the high priestess (CLASSIC entrance scene!); the kermit and miss piggy love duet (aww...); the cabin fever number (LOL!); beaker's scenes (meep meep!); and OMG...the roll call! (be sure to be on the lookout for the muppet named angel marie...LOL!)

KICK-ASS
4 out of 5 stars

i felt like hit girl was the TRUE ass-kicker in this flick about masked superheroes taking on new york city's drug kingpin... ;)


regular joe/semi-loser high school kid dave lizewski (aaron johnson- whoa...he's british?!) decides the days of getting his ass mugged and kicked on the streets were enough. he buys himself a green wetsuit and a set of batons, and transforms himself into...kick-ass, a crime-fightin' superhero! problem is that he's got no special powers nor is he probably trained to defend himself against tough criminals, but he learns that he's not the only masked vigilante in town. hit girl, a potty-mouthed 11 year old girl and her father, big daddy (nicolas cage doing his best adam west impersonation) reveal themselves and come to kick-ass's aid, when a confrontation with a drug dealer comes terribly wrong... of course, with every superhero is a villain! drug kingpin frank d'amico (the always terrific mark strong) rules the drug trade with his iron fist, and puts a hit out on kick-ass after he finds out he killed one of his dealers. frank's son chris (mclovin'!) convinces his father that if he can transform himself into red mist, kick-ass will friend him and then they can trap him... now, does the plan work? you'll see... ;)

like i said: BEST parts are when hit girl fights all the baddies in this movie. they could have just done a movie with just her, for all i care! her scenes are INCREDIBLE... (filled with loads of action, violence, and cunning maneuvers) i also think they did a great job casting mark strong as the "villain of choice", since he can transform himself into such great character. LOVE him for that... the movie is very violent and is definitely done in the style of a great comic book. actually, one of my favorite scenes is the "flashback" of big daddy's past, which is done in animated form. reminds me of the anime featured in kill bill vol. 1, and this is just as good... i hear that matthew vaughan (the director) will be filming a kick-ass 2 premiering next year. CAN'T WAIT!

CASINO
4 out of 5 stars

‎"in the casino, the cardinal rule is to keep them playing and to keep them coming back. the longer they play, the more they lose, and in the end, we get it all." - sam "ace" rothstein


DAMN... this movie was LONG! at a whoppin' 2 hours and 59 min., you get a story of a friendship/relationship/business that lasts about 15 years. continuing onward with more vegas movies, we dive headfirst into the seedy world of the italian mob and how they controlled vegas for some time back in the 1970s and early 80s... let this be a lesson to all those cheaters out there: DON'T FUCK WITH THE MOB. :P

robert deniro plays the always cool, always professional gamblin' man, sam "ace" rothstein, who reluctantly manages the fictional tangiers casino on the strip for the italian mobsters back home. the mobsters know that sam would do a great job as their little puppet, but they also send psycho-killer nicky santoro (a crazy yet awesomely acted joe pesci)as muscle for sam. (esp. for those who didn't pay off their debts) sam and nicky seem to have been friends since childhood, and their relationship also seems thicker than blood. it's just too bad when ginger (a great sharon stone!) comes into the picture, and starts some major drama i.e. sleeping around, giving money to her ex-BF & pimp, tying up her daughter to her bed b/c she couldn't find a babysitter, and snorting coke lines like nobody's bizness... all sam was responsible for was to rake in the $$$ at the casino, so that the mob could skim their share off the top. of course, good ol' fashion human greed gets in the way of things, and pretty soon, sam and nicky get in WAY over their heads.

i don't think this was scorsese's best i.e. the departed or shutter island. one of his trademarks is telling a great story with multiple perspectives, but i found it that the narration was the bulk of this movie. honestly, i'd rather read the actual book than watch this again... although i got to hand it to scorsese for great acting and great script. deniro has always been awesome, but joe pesci's character nicky is just WOW! he gets the mobster role down right esp. the scene where he basically kills a guy...with his own pen! CLASSIC! it's a very intense film about human greed in the city that is fueled by it, and in the end, it's all kind of funny due to the amount of cash (in shoeboxes!) just lying around sam's home. crazy... ;)

PIRATE RADIO
5 out of 5 stars

LOL if you thought old geezers couldn't rock... you thought WRONG! :P


the year is 1966, and rock n' roll is banned from being played in the U.K. thus, the only solution is to play the "devil's music" from international waters, where these party-hard and grooooovy DJs play rock n' roll 24/7 on their ship called radio rock. believe it or not, it's based on a true story of these so-called pirate ships that would play banned music, and the british govt would try to shut them down... i know it sounds absurd now, but hey! blame it on the 1950s mentality of a "wholesome" and "moral" upbringing! but, believe me...there is NOTHING wholesome about this crew's lifestyle. filled with sex, drugs, booze, and rock, the crew on this ship includes the count (the great philip seymour hoffman and only american on this british ship), gavin kavanaugh (a sexy/charismatic rhys ifans - if there were to be a biopic on iggy pop, he would soooo be it!), dr. dave (nick frost from hot fuzz), and quentin, the leader of the group. (the always awesome bill nighy- watch him dance...it's great!) there's even the young chap named carl, who reconnects with his father on the ship, and also...a wedding! of course, it wouldn't be a movie by the director of love actually without one!

all i can say is that the soundtrack and editing of this movie alone takes the cake! from the beatles to the rolling stones to the hollies to the beach boys...these guys play it all! it's a great ode to the decade that DEFINED rock n' roll, and pays tribute to the oceanic dudes that BELIEVED rock n' roll is the heart and soul of the youth. by believing that, they introduced songs that defined a generation... there's quite a lot of humor, and BEST scenes: the chicken "duel" between gavin and the count; the wedding and the morning after; dr. dave's plan to have carl have sex with a woman in his place (and also in the dark); the "i have never" game with the DJs, and of course, the very end! it's very fun, energetic, and definitely a movie worth enjoying... i know i did! ROCK ON!!! :P

21
4 out of 5 stars

"winner, winner, chicken dinner." - ben campbell (quoting a vegas saying re: blackjack)


we couldn't forget this movie based on a group of crazy MIT kids who learn to card count under the tutulage of their diff-e prof! blackjack is fun, easy, and best of all...according to prof. rosa, it's beatable... so why not put their math genius brains to the test in the city that can make it happen? ;)

continuing on with more vegas-themed movies... blackjack is the name of the game, and ben campbell (a super-cutie jim sturgess) is recruited by his diff-e prof micky rosa (a slimy kevin spacey) to become part of a card-counting team. at first, ben is completely reluctant, but soon, the pretty jill (kate bosworth) encourages him to have some fun in his life. of course, what ben really wants is to find a way to pay for harvard medical school, so he joins the team. pretty soon, he's racking up tons of chips, making loads of $ for the team, and actually, having some fun in his life. it's too bad that cole williams (a thuggy lawrence fishburne) knows there's some scheme going on in the casinos, and is onto ben and his "lucky streak"...

BEST parts of the movie is the team's strategy on staying discreet in the various casinos, their code, and how they position themselves in the casinos to help each other out. another great part is how vegas is portrayed as a glitzy, modern, beautiful city and wow! jim sturgess sure looks great in a GUCCI suit! the script is well written, and A+ on the acting front as well. my only grip is that jim needs to take a lesson from the school of christian bale accent perfecting school. (we know you're british, but you're suppose to be american in this one, k?) the message of the movie is really simple: DON'T GET CAUGHT. well, that... and nothing in this world comes for free either. if you win big, you're destined to lose some too...

p.s. after watching this, ya think i should try my luck @ a blackjack table? nah, i think i'll play it safe with a jack & coke... ;)

EASTERN PROMISES
5 out of 5 stars

tatiana: "my name is tatiana. my father died in the mines in my village, so he was already buried when he died. we were all buried there. buried under the soil of russia. that is why I left, to find a better life."


one of my FAVORITE movies of all time, and possibly the BEST portrayal of the russian mob! this is a great movie to watch, esp. with a bowl of beef stroganoff in hand... :) (tip: beef stroganoff + chopped fresh dill + sour cream = WIN!)

anna (naomi watts) is a midwife, who accidentally discovers a diary in the personal affects of a young teenage pregnant girl, who dies on her shift. she asks her cantankerous uncle stephan to translate the diary for her, and finds out the gory details of the young girl's rape and subsequent pregnancy with the child of a member of the vory v zakone. (translation: the russian mafia) she finds an old business card for a russian restaurant in downtown london, and finds out that the owner, semyon (the always awesome armin mueller-stahl), wants to obtain the diary to destroy the evidence... there, she learns of semyon's abusive son kirill (french actor vincent cassel) and his partner-in-crime/"just a driver" nikolai (a convincingly scary viggo mortensen). of course, kirill and nikolai have their own problems such as dealing with the consequences of murdering one of their own. (watch for how nikolai professionally processes the body!) there's a little bit more to this story of the russian mob lifestyle, and the beauty of this movie is that it's done in a very realistic way that leaves you wanting more...

the best part of this movie is definitely the well-written script, the awesome acting, and viggo mortensen. he OWNS this movie by getting into such great character...all the way down to subtle mannerisms, the accent, the hairstyle, everything! TRUE method acting @ its finest! (i'm very disappointed in the academy for not giving him an oscar in this particular role...) i've always been a big fan of david cronenberg, who directed a history of violence (another great mob based movie), and i really like the fact that a lot of research was done on the russian mob's code of conduct as well as the emphasis on how one's sins are depicted by the many tattoos one has. these are ppl you don't mess with, for sure... and, that's apparent in the script, so this isn't your typical gun fight/action movie. be prepared to be analytical while viewing and pay attention!

p.s. watch out for one of the BEST SCENES in cinema for its originality and direction: the public bath house fight!

BACHELOR PARTY VEGAS
4 out of 5 stars

LOL continuing onward with more vegas themed movies... lest not forget this late-night comedy flick about the ULTIMATE bachelor party with just five average college dudes looking for a goooood time in sin city! too bad for them, things don't necessarily go as planned... :P


the story is simple. nathan is getting married, and his buddies want to throw him the most AWESOME, most SEX-FILLED, most CRAZY bachelor party for him, appropriately titled "the last temptation of nathan lewison." (and... with matching t-shirts too!) we even see some familar faces as his BFFs including kal penn AKA kumar (playing pretty much the same character he did in the H&K movies) and donald faison AKA turk from scrubs and murray from clueless! they arrive @ mccarran airport with their hopes and dreams of getting laid and getting lucky in the casinos, but their dreams are quickly dissolved when they realize the 24/7 rockstar party bus with cassandra the F-ugly stripper is NOT what they saw on the internet advertisement... things go from bad to worse when they realize their bachelor party planner is one of sin city's notorious casino thieves of all time. playing with fake house chips lands them in the office of the golden nugget's angry owner, and things just keep on getting "better" from there! (incl. special cameos from chuck lidell the boxer, a she-elvis kathy griffin, and even jamie presley!)

of course, towards the end of the movie, the guys are in for a surprise of their own! (you'll see...) the message is really sweet, and the bromance just blossoms as these five guys share some hilarious moments together. this is the perfect mix of harold & kumar's night of random events and the crazy character encounters of the hangover! it's fun and light-hearted, and definitely a great movie for those looking for something stupid and funny on a friday night... ;)

‎CLASH OF THE TITANS
3 out of 5 stars

"RELEASE THE KRACKEN!!!" - zeus


so, this 2010 remake doesn't do us the "cheesy" justice the 1981 version did... it is just chock full of CGI, crazy fight sequences, ginormous fake scorpions, and a medusa that looks way too much like a video game avatar! however, the story of perseus battling medusa and the krazy kracken later on is well presented... (thus the extra star) :)

pretty much, the mythology of perseus stays the same through and through. perseus (a hunky & muscular sam worthington- just graduated from his terminator salvation/avatar days) loses his entire family to hades, who sinks his family's ship underwater. it turns out that hades (a heavily made up ralph fiennes- almost looking like voldemort's grandfather) and zeus (the great liam neeson- THE PERFECT VOICE FOR ZEUS!) are battling against one another to see how mankind will fall. zeus has pretty much given up on mankind, so he literally unleashes his crazy/demented brother hades upon them... we learn that perseus is a demi-god (half man/half god), and that he alone can save mankind from the destruction hades will bring into the world...AKA the KRACKEN! (of course, perseus will have to go through lovely snakehead medusa to defeat the thing...)

hollywood really spent tons of $ on the CGI effects in this one because i don't think there is a scene, where the scenery hasn't been altered. NOTE: WAY TOO MUCH, H-WOOD. of course, i'm going to say that the original IS the original, but for a modern day version... sure, this passes the test. my only gripe is that the acting is HORRIBLE... i mean, sam worthington isn't the greatest actor in the world. (that's sort of a known fact) i like to put him in my "jason statham" category of actors, where they are totally type-casted and have only one facial expression. also, it's sort of sad to see great actors like ralph fiennes and liam neeson reduced down from their true potentials (their dynamic was at the highest in schindler's list!), but it looked like both liam and ralph had fun portraying rivaling gods...

p.s. did i mention sam worthington is really hot though? i guess that's where the true extra star comes into play... :P

LILO & STITCH
5 out of 5 stars

"'ohana means family. family means nobody gets left behind. or forgotten." - lilo


it's been a while since i've seen this disney classic about a lil' hawaiian girl and her pet "dog". i decided to re-watch this b/c i just LOVE cute lil' lilo's obsession with elvis songs... ;)

the movie starts out with dr. jamba, an evil alien mad scientist, on trial for the criminal acts of illegal genetic engineering. he had created "experiment 626", a creature that's sort of half rabied koala, insect, and possibly...a bit of whatever godzilla was? he is certainly small, but just as destructive as godzilla! anyway... "experiment 626" AKA stitch escapes the alien prison, and ends up landing in hawaii, where he ends up in a lost dog kennel. there, lilo finds him, and decides to adopt him as her puppy... we get to see that lilo is a lonely yet imaginative lil' girl, who also happens to be a big fan of THE king. (elvis, duh! i think it's brilliant when she tries to teach stitch how to be a model citizen by following the ways of the king... LOL!) lilo is also faced with another problem, and that is possible seperation from her big sister nani, if the social worker doesn't see that her home is a fit one. it's a serious theme, but realistic, which is why i think this story works so well. (even though the thought of aliens is very far fected...) oh! i almost forgot to mention that the galatic alliance or whatever sends dr. jamba and his assistant/expert on humanoid species agent pleakley to extract stitch from his human home. of course, stitch won't go without a fight! :P

the animation is done VERY WELL, and like all disney stories, there's the happy ending... it's very cute, and the story is written very well too. i think the best part of this movie is the soundtrack, laced with great elvis tunes and contemporary renditions of the king's songs such as "burning love" by winonna judd and "can't help falling in love" by the modern ABBA...A*TEENS. lilo, as a character, is very well written and developed...even for a fictional one! she's like a real lil' girl with real problems, and that just adds to the genuine/originality of this disney flick! A+ and a true disney masterpiece! ;)

THE GRAND
5 out of 5 stars

mike werbe (poker championship commentator): every time you play a hand of you poker you wanna run through a mental check list. head position hand position neck position breathing posture. more than 25 items. it's a lot. and that why i've come up with a handy mnemonic device. just one word: HPHPNPBPECMSPAMDCPAFTSTTL. it's easy!


OMG this has got to be one of the funniest movies i've seen in a while! it is up there with best in show (mockumentary about dog shows) and spinal tap (mockumentary about a heavy metal band)! this is a mockumentary (a documentary-style comedy) on the ridiculous characters playing in a poker tournament @ the golden nugget in las vegas... PERFECT choice for vegas movie month! ;)

what makes this movie so freakin' AWESOME is the characters and the actors who play them so well... we start out with "one-eyed" jack faro (a drugged up cowboy junkie woody harrelson) who is the grandson of lucky faro, owner of the rabbit's foot in downtown las vegas. he's been married 74 times, and of course, has been in and out of rehab for the past...3 years of his life? OMG...his casino concepts are priceless! then, there's poker savant/sci-fi buff harold melvin (a HILARIOUS chris parnell) who still lives with his mother ruth, and likes to play poker since it's all about probability and chance... lainie and larry schwartzman (both played by a potty-mouth cheryl hines and a HILARIOUS david cross) are two master poker players in their own right. lainie has been women's poker champ for the past couple years, and larry (also lainie's twin bro) has the most ridic costumes and props and tactics to "throw off" his competitors' games. i like how dennis farina plays this old timer deuce fairbanks, who is tremendously nostaglic about the old las vegas, and the montage he shows is priceless. the german (director werner herzog) has a wonderful role as a cut-throat, bunny-lovin' german poker old timer, who apparently kills animals every day to give himself a good rush... (WTF but brilliant character esp. his intro scene!)

there's a lot of improvisation between all of the actors, and i think that's what makes it that much special... the characters all have their quirks and crazy ideas, and the acting is superb. GREAT JOB on the casting! the storyline is pretty awesome too, and you get to see these guys really play a great game of cards. but HANDS DOWN...the best character is andy andrews (richard kind from spin city- now that's a throwback!), who has no idea what he's doing or whether he's winning hands...

BEST LINE from him is: "i got into poker while i was on the internet researching fireplace pokers..." :P

THE LOSERS
3 out of 5 stars

LOL this flick is definitely one that was full of action and a really fun cast! (you can definitely tell that all the cast members had fun filming this together...) plus, the bonus features @ the very end make the inside jokes seem even funnier... ;)


right from the very get-go, this movie seems like a knock-off version of the A-TEAM. you've got 1) clay AKA the colonel (jeffrey dean morgan) who is the leader of the losers 2) roque (idris elba) who's the expert on all these demo and tactical 3) jensen (cutie pie chris evans) who's the expert on communications and tech 4) pooch (columbus short- reprising again as the getaway man) who's the expert on all these transportation 5) cougar (this unknown hispanic guy who is mucho cute!) AKA the long-range sniper. these "losers" take on a mission involving an assassination of a known drug smuggler by the name of fadil in bolivia, and when they see that children are going to be used as mules/also exterminated by the air strike, the colonel decides to make it a rescue mission. the only problem is that max (a deranged/humorous jason patric) is not happy about it, and decides to kill the losers and the children anyway... next thing they realize that they are presumed DEAD by the u.s. govt, and it's time for them to go into hiding. well, until a pretty young woman named aisha (the beautiful/sleek zoe saldana) finds them and gets them to go after max once and for all!

the screenplay is written actually quite well, with lots of humorous jokes and sarcastic quips. i think kudos goes to chris evans, who is the funniest/most energetic character and BEST SCENE award goes to him when he goes undercover as a journey-lovin' delivery man and tech guy infiltrating/d-loading an algorithm from a computer security firm's mainframe server. stylistically, this movie reminds me of joe carnahan's work with smokin' aces and A-TEAM, but like i said...it's more of a knock-off. plot very overall is pretty predictable, but overall it's alright... i think the most creative parts is the title cards that tell us change of city (where the losers travel to), and how the editors embedded them into the scenery of each change of scene. thus, earning them an extra star... ;)

VEGAS VACATION

4 out of 5 stars

cousin eddie: "OH MY GOD... it's WAYNE NEWTON!!!"

bahahahaha oh, cousin eddie... :P

continuing on with vegas themed movies...

i revisited this cult classic, where clark griswold (the always awesome chevy chase) decides he's going to take his chances in sin city! he takes his family to the lovely mirage hotel and casino on the strip, and just keeps gambling away... all the while, his wife ellen is enthralled with wayne newton (OMG, it's WAYNE NEWTON!), his son rusty ends up as a high roller, and his daughter audrey is...a dancer @ some club with her stripper cousin vicki. however, the best parts of the entire movie is when they visit their redneck cousin eddie (the hilarious randy quaid) who drinks like a fish and likes to bury his money out in his govt given land. best LOL moments are when cousin eddie wants to "grill" chicken on stones; the buffet scene ("clark, this is an all you can eat! we only need one plate..."); how rusty acquires his fake ID; wayne newton's cameo; the siegfried & roy show; and lastly... wayne newton's concert and ellen "singing" along...

of course, this one isn't as great/awesome as the original "vacation", but there are a lot of funny moments, making fun of the glamour and ridiculousness of las vegas. it's too bad that wayne newton won't be around when i go @ the end of this month, but hey...who knows? i honestly really want to re-create cousin eddie's reaction as well as carry around a fake ID with the name "jina papagiorgio" on it... :P

THE HANGOVER
5 out of 5 stars

stu price: (playing piano and singing passionately) "what do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? do they dream of mauling zebras, or halle berry in her catwoman suit? don't you worry your pretty striped head, we're gonna get you back to tyson and your cozy tiger bed. and then we're gonna find our best friend doug, and then we're gonna give him a best friend hug. doug, doug, oh, doug, dougie, dougie, doug, doug!"


LOL i am SO EXCITED about my vegas trip @ the end of september that i've decided to declare september as VEGAS MOVIE MONTH! ;)

obviously... i thought we should start things off with one of the funniest movies about good ol' sin city craziness, esp. from the director of old school! this one's a cult classic, and god knows vegas sure knows how to deliver one hell of a hangover... ;)

so, classic storyline about a guy named doug (justin bartha) who is about to get married. his 2 BFFs (ed helms from the office and a great asshole/d-bag bradley cooper) decide to take him for one last hurrah in sin city. they are forced to take doug's hilariously funny/dumb-ass brother-in-law alan (zack galifianakis- his character has the best lines!) along for the ride, and well... the results are AWESOME. they all wake up the next morning (after their racuous night), and find a baby in their suite closet, a tiger in the bathroom, stu is missing a tooth, and doug... he's M.I.A.! thus, the guys try and retrace their night...

best scenes: alan's roof toast; mike tyson and the tiger situation; the gaysian gangster AKA ken jeong as leslie chow (LOL when he pops out of the trunk nekked is the BEST!); BABY CARLOS!; the lil' white wedding chapel all-inclusive package (i love all the crap the package includes!); stu's song (as quoted above); OMG...and the DAN BAND @ the very end! (LOL @ their rendition of 50 cent's candy shop) really really funny movie, and definitely something i'll be watching again real soon on my flight to vegas... ;)