THE BOX
2 out of 5 stars

this movie was fucking creepy... sorry for dropping the f-bomb in this review so early on, but it was!!! :/


based on a short story called "button, button" and also a twilight zone episode back in the 70s, richard kelly (director of donnie... darko) decides to tackle his own interpretation of a story that explores the idea of whether a couple will push the button to kill a total stranger. so, one christmas morning, norma lewis (cameron diaz) finds a strange package on her doorstep. she and her husband open up the package to find a device with a button enclosed in a glass dome. it's locked, but they are soon visited by a disfigured man named arlington steward, who explains that they will be given a million dollars if they push the button... the downside of it is that someone they don't know will die. so, it's the ultimate test of whether someone will in fact push the button... do they do it? well, i'll leave it to you to see, if you decide to watch this one... ;)

the beginning was great and suspenseful, but i think i'm still confused on what went on in the middle of the movie... the plot sort of derails a bit into a weird spot, where aliens and NASA and water portholes are involved? it's all still strange to me... i thought this was suppose to be more of a psych thriller, was it not? plus, it didn't help that most of the extras in this movie were uber-creepy... there's this one scene where norma is on the phone with arlington, and there's a really creepy guy starring at her outside of her home. WTF...

SMOKIN' ACES 2: ASSASSINS' BALL
2 out of 5 stars

when a movie goes straight to DVD, it is an indication that it's probably going to suck... point proven with this one! :/


it looks like the production for this "prequel" or "sequel" either ran out of money or had problems with casting the right people since the special effects are quite bad and the acting is pretty much horrible as well... smokin' aces was set in vegas/tahoe, but this time, the assassins are following a hit out on FBI intelligence analyst walter weed in chicago! walter weed is played by the great tom berenger (why did he even agree to be in this?) and he's being protected by a rag tag team of FBI agents in a secured bunker underneath a jazz club in chi-town. it's only a matter of time, where the FBI's security is breached by the known assassins: 1) ariella martinez: spanish black widow type w/ known expertise in poisons 2) finbar mcteague (VINNIE JONES! but playing the same character as he did in snatch): aka the "surgeon" and torture expert 3) the stupid tremor family: hillbilly fuckheads with some comic relief 4) lazlo soot (the dude from sons of anarchy playing the same character from SA - THANK GOD!): the assassin that likes to use disguises as his method of penetrating security around a target...

i honestly would have liked the movie better with the dumbass tremor clan because they were just...dumb. the exploding clowns were kind of funny, but they just did not live up to the tremor name like they did in the first smokin' aces. also, vinnie jones and the black widow chick were great characters, and i certainly wished they had more screen time! ugh... felt so cheated out of a good death! plus, the little twist at the end wasn't as good as the first one. why couldn't joe carnahan direct his own sequel?

the only redeeming factor is that we learn the truth about beanie AKA agent malcolm little! actually didn't see that one coming, thus extra star... ;)

INCEPTION
5 out of 5 stars

christopher nolan has done it again! 5 stars for what will probably be the best summer flick, if not the BEST flick of the year! ;)

the story is quite complicated, but it’s an original and creative plot. cobb (brilliant acting from leo dicaprio) is a thief, and not just someone who does a few B&Es and cracks vaults. he’s got the technology to break into people’s minds, and steal their secrets/ideas... it’s the ultimate tool for extraction in the world of corporate espionage! so when a job goes wrong with japanese idustralist saito (the great ken watanabe), cobb is forced to work an inception scheme, where saito wants him to plant an idea in a subject’s mind. not just any subject, but the son of his dying rival, robert fischer. (cillian murphy) so, cobb assembles his team for the inception: ariadne (ellen page) as the “architect” of the triple-dream, humorous eames and master forger/impersonator (tom hardy), arthur as cobb’s associate (the always cool joseph gordon levitt), and yusuf as the master chemist who formulates the powerful sedative to prevent the team from waking up from their 10 hour flight with their subject.

the special effects are AWESOME, let alone story/plot and originality! A+ to christopher nolan for being such a brilliant filmmaker! if you like sci-fi- thrillers i.e. the matrix with the plot twists and turns of nolan’s the prestige, you get something brilliant like this... some say it's hard to follow but that's because of the non-linear storyline a la memento, another nolan masterpiece.  however best scenes: a freight train plowing through a city in dream layer 1; ariadne “experimenting” with the physics of her dream world; the ending! (complete OMG and everyone’s initial reaction), the planning of the “heist”, the fractured mind of cobb’s dream world, ZERO-GRAVITY!  and best of all, the complexity of questioning what DEFINES reality? the only thing missing was christian bale since nolan re-used almost everyone from batman begins and the dark knight. (w/ a couple newcomers...)


well, with that said, what are you waiting for? GO SEE THIS for yourself! it’s definitely worth it AND it will get your mind thinking of what your next dream will mean... just be sure to have your "totem" with you... ;)

DAYBREAKERS
3 out of 5 stars

elvis: “being a human in a world full of vampires is just as safe as bare-backing a five dollar whore.”



because of a virus (similar to resident evil except w/ vamps), almost everyone on earth is a vampire. a subwalk (so vampires could walk in the daytime) is built in the city, “coffee” shops offer blood mixed with a bit of milk, and human beings are farmed for blood in a matrix style contraption by a corporation called bromley marks. chief hematologist edward dalton is played by ethan hawke, and he is not happy… he doesn’t get why his world has to farm humans, and tries everyday experiments to perfect the idea of synthetic blood for the vampire population. because there’s a shortage of human blood left in the world, vampires that are starving are starting to mutate into really nasty bat-like creatures… (ever seen underworld 2? remember marcus? THAT!) plus, on top of all this, the human race is also on the brink of extinction… tough world!


it’s actually a very interesting movie, exploring a world of vampires and the predicaments they would face. how does one go about saving an entire vampire population? don’t mistake this as a horror flick because it’s not… but anyway, luckily for edward, he is contacted by a group of rogue humans all decked out with buffy the vampire slayer gear, and they show him the “miracle” AKA elvis cormac played brilliantly by the great willem dafoe. the acting is actually really good, especially sam o’neill (THE PERFECT VILLIAN) who is just another greedy corporate douchebag in a suit. (you’ll see why…) i really liked the monochrome palette (color filtering) to create this world, but it was too close mimicking the style of underworld and 28 days later…


i should mention that there’s some really cool effects with the makeup in this one! there’s a scene where some vampires are waiting at a subway station platform, and all their eyes glow as a train passes in the dark. it’s all about the eyes in this one… ;)

THE LOVELY BONES
4 out of 5 stars

an interesting movie about what happens to spirits in the afterlife… this movie was quite creative and enjoyable! also, quite the tear jerker for anyone who’s ever lost a loved one… :’( (after 2 tear-soaked tissues, i don’t think my tear ducts could take it anymore!)



susie salmon (played by the little girl from atonement) is a 14 year old girl from norristown, PA, who gets lured into a literal death trap by a pedophile psychofuck george harvey (played creepily by a heavily disguised stanley tucci), and is ultimately murdered by said psychofuck… it’s a sad story to begin with, but it only gets more complex as susie watches her grieving family from the “in-between”, and tries to give clues to her father re: who her killer was. it’s all heartbreaking watching the salmon family grieve in their own ways (mom is clinically depressed, dad smashes his scale model hobby into pieces, sister is determined to find evidence in george harvey’s home), and all their grief/sorrow prevents young susie from moving on to heaven like the other spirits in the in-between. she even watches over her high school crush ray singh, who was been hanging out with a medium named ruth ann connors, who saw susie in spirit form after her murder. (it really freaks her out—and honestly, me too!)


one of the things I truly like about peter jackson is the way he uses different color palettes to form scenery. susie’s in-between world is quite lush, colorful, innocent, and very fantastical, and that changes quite drastically/dramatically when she begins to think dark thoughts of her killer’s fate. (changing to a stormy, disgusting, haunting night with wintery trees and sadness) his conception of “heaven” is pure and calming, and reminds me when the elf queen and frodo leave for the otherworld at the end of LOTR 3… whether you believe there’s a heaven or not, this movie will definitely make you think about the “if there was one” factor…


also, did i mention that susan sarradon is AWESOME as the alcoholic grandmother? :P (LOVE her jackie O-esque hair do!)

THE WOLFMAN
2 out of 5 stars

for a movie with a star-studded cast like this one, it sure let me down... in fact, this remake of the wolfman needed to be put down... :(


stephanie meyer may have convinced us that werewolves are hot/sexy 16 year old boys, but this take on the wolfMAN is quite different! lawrence talbot (benicio del toro) is summoned back home to blackmoor, england to figure out the mystery behind his brother's gruesome/sudden death as well as the mysterious deaths of the townsfolk. while investigating on a full moon night, he is bitten by the werewolf, and begins his transformation every full moon... anthony hopkins plays his manipulative/quasi-evil father sir john, hugo weaving as the inspector investigating into lawrence talbot, and the beautiful emily blunt as the fiance of lawrence's brother. there's a family secret lawrence finally learns, and it's that his mother's "suicide" may not have been one afterall...

HIGHLY GRUESOME and almost to the point of UNNECESSARY! lots of guts, intestines, mauled faces, body parts ripped off, decapitation...IT'S ALLL HERE! the family secret gave it a bit of a twist and an extra star, but other than that, the ending is all CGI and lame. (a werewolf fight...like i wasn't expecting that!) even with a cast like this, this is the best you can come up with? tsk tsk, hollywood...

FROM PARIS WITH LOVE
4 out of 5 stars

charlie wax: "tell him i got a message for him. wax on, wax off."


it's been a while since we've seen john travolta or jonathan rhys meyers on the big screen, and it's refreshing to see both of them have some fun in this high-action flick about taking down international terrorism...

luc besson (best known film produced/directed would be the ... See Morefifth element) brings us a story of a low-level CIA operative james reese aching to become part of the action, until he is partnered up with crass and unorthodox veteran operative named charlie wax. jonathan rhys meyers takes a break from 16th century england to play the low-level operative, and does a pretty good american accent too! charlie wax is john travolta AT HIS BEST! from when he's giving verbal hell to french customs officers to when he's taking a no-tolerant shot at a moving volvo on a speeding highway, he's got the skills to save america's ass again and again.


a great story taking you all over paris...from the eiffel tower to the parisian slums, even to the american embassy in the city of light! there's a bit of a plot twist that ties in quite nicely with the "mission" of these two operatives, but i have to say the ending is a bit on the lame side. stylistically, i LOVE the action sequences, and probably the most redeeming factor of this movie is john travolta's character charlie wax, who is just AWESOME... (some of the most brilliant lines i.e. "checkmate, motherfucker!" after his partner springs him out of the customs interrogation box)

all i can say that if you're an action junkie or just want to see john travolta kick major ass, you'll want to try this flick out. waxing off for the day... ;)

THE AFFAIR OF THE NECKLACE
4 out of 5 stars

marie antoinette: "if you weaken the monarchy, you undermind an entire nation."

jeanne: "you weakened yourselves long before a necklace became an issue."


i think i gave this movie an extra star based on the subject matter, but it really deserves of a 3 since they didn't really follow the TRUE story behind this scandal... :/ (which would have made it MORE interesting!)


it's hard to believe that a diamond necklace would be the pinnacle moment in french history to topple a long, long legacy of french royalty. well, that AND the rise of democracy! as we celebrate bastille week, we are reminded of 3 choice words: liberte, egalite, and fraternite! those words ring true in this movie about a scandal illicited by a woman stripped of her royal title: jeanne de la motte valois. she orchestrates a conspiracy with her lover and court gigolo retaux de la villette (a sexy simon baker), her husband the count nicholas de la motte (a hilarious adrien brody), and count castaligno. (christopher walken playing himself w/ an atrocious italian accent) basically, the plot was to get the cardinal rohan to pay for a diamond necklace, and then sell the diamonds off to brokers, thus PAY DAY for the conspirators... the queen marie antoinette comes into play because she and rohan have a bitter relationship, and jeanne utilizes their fractured relationship to her advantage and her desires... her ultimate desire: to reclaim land once owned by her family!

it's the ultimate con, and it happened in 18th century france. it's one of the moments in history where you're like "yeah, right! did the cardinal REALLY fall for something that fishy?" unfortunately, yes... human emotion is such a funny thing, and it's interesting to watch how the events unfold in this adaptation of l'affair du collier. :)

THE BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF
4 out of 5 stars

this week is all about french movies and the french revolution due to july 14th being bastille day or as many americans would call it "the frenchie's independence day"... thus, bastille week is born! :P


here's a movie that's all action/adventure, thriller, sci-fi rolled into one! i think i was asked to watch this back in HS by my french teacher but honestly... this is nothing BUT educational! here we have royal taxidermist gregoire de fronsac and his sidekick and mohawk indian tribesman mani head out to godknowswhere, france (gevudan to be exact) and figure out the mystery of the BEAST that is terrorizing the french countryside. at first, fronsac and mani think this is some sort of urban legend because they don't seem to believe there is a 500 lb animal out there... but when the killings start happening, they decide to hunt it down for REAL. MOHAWK INDIAN STYLE. on the royal political front, fronsac and mani also meet the royalty of gevudan aka the highly deceptive morangias family (vincent cassel playing the disgustingly creepy brother jean-francois) and cardinal sardis, the head of the st. albans church. (where most of the movie takes place...)

like i said, this is suppose to be a "period piece", but it's all faked out with tons of action and fight sequences between mani and the natives and the mystery/thriller component of this beast. there's more to the story, and that's one of the main reasons why i liked this one. for those who like monica bellucci, she's also in this, as well as her hubby, vincent cassel. (both terrific euro actors who have been in american movies) best scenes are: all mani vs. the natives fight sequences, fight sequence between fronsac and j-f (esp. with that chain-sword! WTF IS that?), THE hunt w/ mani & his war paint and a welcome fronsac dinner scene that's actually quite humorous...


BTW, does anyone watch iron chef america? doesn't mani look familar to you? ;)
 
p.s. believe it or not, there is some "truth" to this movie... ok, CREEPY...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0237534/trivia

SHAOLIN SOCCER
4 out of 5 stars

in honor of the world cup finale, this chinese classic came to mind... (even w/o subtitles, this one's pretty straight-forward) ;)


the plot: ex-soccer star and now coach golden leg finds himself fired and out on the streets after his "friend" and rival hung gets rid of him. as he's roaming the streets, he finds himself talking to a former shaolin monk mighty steel leg, and wonders if he could apply his technique to soccer. well... in order to play in the supercup tournament, he'll need to convince his other brothers to join his team to take on team evil coached by hung. (and you wondered where that reference came from- my statuses re: north korea) mighty steel leg also finds himself falling in love with another kung fu master mui who uses her technique to make sweet buns on the street. it's romance/action/comedy all rolled into one! will team shaolin BEAT team evil? you'll have to see for yourself...


really hilarious and esp, loved it when the soccer balls became these huge balls of fire aimed straight for the goal! (only if that'd happen in the world cup for real... :P) best scenes are when the brothers are learning the game of soccer, mighty steel leg randomly busting out into song/dance to that song celebration, when mighty steel leg and iron head are trying to entertain a club with their rendition of california dreamin', the ending, and of course the final match with team evil. the whole concept of incorporating kung fu to soccer is absurd, which i think makes this movie an instant classic... right?


so well... i guess this is the last world cup/soccer movie i'll review until the next one in...4 years? until then...GO NETHERLANDS!!!

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO
5 out of 5 stars

i have to say... as DISTURBING as the some of the subject matter is in this swedish film about solving a 40 year old crime, this one will have you on the EDGE of your seat and keep you GUESSING until the very VERY end... ;)


the main character lisbeth salander is a complicated girl. she fights with boys, wears punk clothing, is aloof, chain-smokes, and did i mention also bi-sexual? well, she's also a very talented professional hacker working for a research/security firm in stockholm, investigating into the integrity of smeared journalist mikael blomkvist, who wrote an expose story on a corporation that backfired on him. before blomkvist serves out his sentence for the story, he is contacted by henrik vanger's attorney, who wants to hire him to investigate the disappearance of his niece, harriet. henrik vanger also happens to be a very wealthy man, so everyone in the vanger family is a suspect!

plot is full of little twists and turns, and figuring out the whole murder mystery is so much fun! the truth is actually quite disturbing and sickening, but family secrets always seem to be that way, don't they? i guess otherwise they wouldn't be called secrets... anyway, acting is superb from the girl who plays lisbeth! (and boy, lisbeth is a complicated person... you will see why...) some truly disturbing scenes w/ rape and sexual abuse, so be WARNED! i think that's just one of the overarching themes of the movie, but the main focus is figuring out THE vanger family secret. it's great and i think anyone who is a murder-mystery/thriller fan will enjoy this greatly... (just as i did!)

p.s. i can not WAIT for the girl who played with fire to be released in the united states! ohhhh, it's gonna be good... ;)

THE SLAMMIN' SALMON
3 out of 5 stars

i was expecting better from the same dudes that brought us super troopers and beerfest! disappointment but still tickled the funny bone here and there... :/


probably the best scenes involved jay chandrasekhar (the indian dude in all broken lizard movies) who plays the most hilarious character in this movie about waiting tables and the antics of the restaurant biz... basically, the story is this: it's about a group of waiters who work at a glorified red lobster under the management of a boxing champ, cleon salmon. (played by big dude michael clarke duncan) and boy, do we have a cast of characters! there's mia the beautiful ballerina; connor the wannabe actor who comes back after getting the ax from hollywood; nuts...(his name states it all); guy the fake baked ass of the waiters; tara the med school student; donnie the blue curacao lovin' busboy! oh! remember the big dude that died in the vat of beer in beerfest? LOL he's the manager...

i have to say that beerfest was original, but this was just a cheap take on waiting. (that movie w/ ryan reynolds and anna faris) there wasn't even a penis game!!! :P one redeeming factor was the cameos from morgan fairchild, nutella AKA a hilarious vivica a. fox, the indian dude from heroes, and will forte AKA macgruber! like i said before, nuts/zongo is probably the funniest character in the movie because he's just so f-ing crazy... (watch for the scene where he thinks his "customers" are cats and he's trying to feed them fish...LOL WTF!)

p.s. watch the outtakes @ the very end of the movie which are actually funnier than the movie itself... comeon! it's hard to keep a straight face while acting like a total nutcase named zongo! :P

THE PATRIOT
3 out of 5 stars

well... i thought it'd be appropro to watch/write a critique on this mel gibson classic! FREEEEEEEDOM!!! ok, wrong movie quote but he might as well said that in this one... ;)


before mel gibson was an alcoholic and stating anti-semitic remarks in public, he was THE PATRIOT. benjamin martin is a tomahawk chop throwin', have no mercy for the redcoats, allaroundbadass. he lives in the south carolina countryside with his 7 children, and the patriotic beast is unleashed when a cruel redcoat capt. tavington (jason issacs- when is he NOT playing an evil person?) shoots and kills one of his sons. there's one scene where he takes out 20 redcoat soldiers by himself, and it's pure action sequence/the impossible/rambo reborn. thus, the legend is born, and the legend of the "ghost" even falls unto the ears of tavington and EVEN lord general cornwallis, himself. (the ever so awesome tom wilkinson- when is he NOT awesome?) benjamin ends up as the south carolina militia leader, and with the help of EVERY man, they fight for independence, freedom, and ultimately democracy...

it's great to see a very young heath ledger take on the role of benjamin's son, and sometimes, he's more patriotic than his father at times. i love the fact that he does not give up on the revolutionary cause, and continues to work on sewing the torn flag he finds at a camp... (very iconic) the final battle scene is pretty awesomely climatic, but one can't help but think "is this a reenactment at a historical battle ground?"


the hollywood-ized american revolution is quite entertaining and actually well done...for an action flick. i for one would have preferred a more dramatized approach, so maybe this one wasn't really for me. i guess next year i'll just watch hbo's john adams instead... (i think i'll get more satisfaction out of that)

anyway, hope everyone had a happy fourth of july! :)

MARY AND MAX
4 out of 5 stars

mary: "where do babies come from in america? do they come from cola-cans?"

max: "well, unfortunately, in america, babies are not found in cola cans. i asked my mother when i was four and she said they came from eggs laid by rabbis. If you aren't jewish, they're laid by catholic nuns. if you're an atheist, they're laid by dirty, lonely prostitutes."


and...that's just a snippet of the pen-pal relationship between mary daisy dinkle, a chubby 8 year old australian girl (voiced by toni collette) and max horowitz, an obsese middle-aged new yorker (voiced by phillip seymour hoffman). this is definitely NOT a movie meant for little kids as the topics discussed throughout their letters is not quite "appropriate" for a child... (even the events that lead up to the end are quite disturbing...)


anyway, this movie is all about friendship and how two very unlikely individuals connect through each other's writings. we get a look at each character's life, and it's pretty sad. mary is a neglected, lonely little girl who has an aloof dad and a drunk mom. she's constantly made fun of @ school, and the one friend she has is an agoraphobic wheel-chair bound neighbor named len. (oh, but she has a pet rooster named ethel!) on the other side of the globe, max is just as lonely as mary... he's got asperger's syndrome, which means he's autistic, overeats, loves to eat chocolate hotdogs. no one really understands him, nor does he because the world he sees is all very strange due to his condition...


i found this movie to be semi-disturbing and actually a very realistic portrayal of how two people connect through letter-writing. there are many humorous moments, but there are also very sad/disturbing moments... i actually really liked the clay-animiation style, as i love wallace & grommet! it's very well done, and the content is quite blunt. mary asks max some hard questions, even for a normal grown up, and it's interesting to see how he responds to them...


BTW... this was the first film shown @ last year's cannes festival, and actually received RAVE reviews from critics who attended... i have to agree. :)

RUDO Y CURSI
4 out of 5 stars

continuing on with world cup fever in jinaleeandmovies land… ;)


such brotherly "love" in this flick about 2 futbol-crazy brothers longing to make it big in the world of mexican soccer. rudo and cursi are only their nicknames, but they sure do act accordingly... rudo (diego luna) is super competitive, vicious, and one hell of a goalkeeper. he's constantly bickering with his brother (gael garcia bernal) who is romantic, funny, loves to sing, and is one hell of a forward. they end up playing on rival teams, but you get a glimpse of their mundane lives working on a mexican banana ranch prior to their stardom! how they get to mexico city to play soccer is all pure chance. a soccer agent/talent scout gets a flat tire right where they're about to play a game, and just like that, baton the talent scout signs cursi. rudo, of course, gets extremely jealous to the point he steals his family's life savings to catch a bus to mexico city! (ay ya ya!)

for those of you in need of translation: rudo means rough-edged and cursi means cornball and i think it's a term of affection for someone cute? (comeon, gael is pretty cute...) they are lots of hilarious scenes esp. when the brothers are bickering with one another, when their sister weds the local "businessman" whom they're convinced is a druglord, baton the talent scout and his string-pulling antics... carlos cuaron (brother of alfonso) directs this comedy about brothers and the "love" they share...which in this case is futbol! i really enjoyed this, even with english subtitles, because the humor is real, lots of ad-libbing, and plus what's to hate about cursi? he can serenade me anytime with his accordion! (although he's a pretty bad singer... :P)

p.s. check out the scene with the music video cursi stars in... (his cover of cheap trick's i want you to want me) if you need a good laugh, this one would do it...